sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
