North Korea, Best Korea!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
