return my video game
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
