hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
