I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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