You made me cry and you don't even care
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
