i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You made out with two different species that night
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
