You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
