my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
