ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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