so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
