i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
