I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
