I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
we should paint friendship bongs
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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