I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
