Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
