Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
