she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
