I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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