we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We have started to decorate penises.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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