Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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