he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
