BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
