Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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