i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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