butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
