Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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