She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
