Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
