hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I need a burrito and a hug.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
