I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
