she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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