There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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