You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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