Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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