I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
