The maid of honor just puked.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
