Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
