and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
