He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
