i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
