Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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