Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
