I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
