ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
