Sry I called you an 8
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
