redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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