i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
