well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Then you guys just all showered together...?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
