"it" just moved
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
